Do you feel that no matter how hard you try, something always suffers? Are you chasing the dream of living a ‘balanced’ life? Personally I’m tired of hearing about the key to happiness is balance. It’s like setting yourself up for failure! My view is if you want to be happy with “having it all”, you need to ask for support. Instead of striving for a well-balanced life a new goal would be to live a well-supported one.
One could say that the Women’s Movement was about fighting for a life where we can do whatever we want. Women can now work, raise a family, take care of a home, or a combination of these. Women CAN have it all!
The Women’s Movement hasn’t taught us what to do once we received all this good fortune AND how to be happy with it.
Let’s explore how to live a well-supported life. You don’t have to ‘do it all’ and it’s very likely something will suffer if you try. How do you ask for help?
Here are 5 tips on how to live a well-supported life:
1. Build your support system
Who can you rely on when the going gets tough? Write a list of people you can count on. Then reach out to your list and let them know you will be asking for support more often. Educate them on how you want to start living your life. Since they made your list you’ll immediately feel supported when you ask them for help. (ah…. Doesn’t it feel nice already?) Also, you could reach out via the Internet. Do you follow anyone on Facebook, Twitter or read any blogs? There are more Moms than ever posting about their lives on the internet and they are doing this to help you!
2. Listen to your gut.
When caught up in managing everyone’s life it’s easy to lose a grip on your own. Pay attention to what your gut is telling you in the present moment. If you are multi-tasking and your gut tells you something is not right, acknowledge this feeling. Perhaps delegating would make your gut feel better.
3. Stop doing things you do not want to do.
You are probably a very good planner and have a great calendar system in place. Determine if you are overbooking your time. What daily chores do you detest completing? Ask your support system or search the internet for new ideas for doing these chores.
4. Eliminate resentment.
Let’s say you are doing the dishes, after just cooking dinner, and are thinking about the next load of laundry and are talking to the kids about getting ready to take a bath. You walk out of the kitchen and your husband is watching the 5:00 news. What do you feel in that moment? If it’s envy or resentment, ask for help. State the request with a ‘please’ and when they follow-up, with a ‘thank you’. Showing consideration, especially to your loved ones, is a win for everyone.
5. Turn complaints into requests for help
Complaining drains energy. It is healthy to vent frustration, but turn the complaint into a request for support. This way you are releasing your negativity and turning a cruddy situation into a positive one. If you find yourself complaining admit this out loud, “I am complaining.”, then turn to your support system for help.
Spread the word about living a well-supported life! If every tech company has its own support department why can’t you? It takes time to create policies and procedures so don’t forget to be patient with your team. Keeping your end of the bargain, which means to keep asking for help, will help teach people how they can be there for you in the best way possible.
Working Mom, Want In?
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